Post by acclue lockheart on Dec 8, 2007 14:44:59 GMT -5
Alright, my familiar character was originally made in the process of a great freeform called kitsuneakki (literally translates to 'fox demon' from Japanese) it died before we were able to finish it, but I liked the characters and storylines so much that I just couldn't let go of them, they were far too interesting and complex, and so much fun to play!
It was originally meant as a fan game in the same world as Inuyasha, but we deviated so much from it, the only recognizable similarity is the existence of demons, and even that's been skewed so far that it can't even be considered copyright infringement anymore
I even changed the setting now so that it's not even set in Japan, just a typical fantasy setting.
So recently I decided to rewrite the whole thing on my own, which may be quite a big task considering the whole game was maybe 2000+ posts, in my own words. We've tried restarting the game, but that's never worked, so I'm taking it into my own hands. I figured I might as well put it up here so I can hopefully get some feedback from you guys
oh, and the weird narrating only goes to the end of chapter I (no, he's not trying to rhyme) I only did that because it's hard to justify the narrator physically describing himself XD
Please note that I write everything on an old PDA because I can't afford a laptop at the moment, so there may be some minor spelling errors...
I also usually don't put fully edited stuff on the internet because then no one would have incentive to go and buy it if it ever got published XD
so here is the rough draft for the prologue and first chapter of my story, Kitsuneakki: Origins.
--------------
There are many tales of greatness here in this world before time. Of men and heroes and gods alike. Yet strangely it occours so little, a tale from somewhere else.
Such stories are often overlooked, despite their gravity. A source of valor as such, humans can't conceive.
This epic begins in a chaotic place, near the edge of our known world. An isle by the name of Thryll is where darkness began.
A secluded folk, the Thryll knew little beyond the shores they saw. The epoch of man had just begun, but still refused to thrive.
An evil force, beyond any creature's span, corrupted all and refused to fall, the darkness of the land.
But man knew not the bravery that a new creature would hold. The life of such a range of species merely labelled cursed. These creatures as were really meant, the inheritters of Earth.
And though the heroes of this tale do span from here to man, the one who saved the world, was bound by no man or god or even the fates' hand.
Though now 'tis lost, his tale still stands. Proof: the existance of man.
Chapter I: The Little Fox's Tale
Our story begins not among man. A paradise to vixen kin and home to many cursed. The demons, as they called them, were the fox's species. A tribe of hunters, gatherers and such, in cave dwellings they stayed. A promising village in physical might, their latent magics they often forgot.
One boy however, the son of the leader, was not so apt. Though only eight years old, a mere infant in demon's lives, he was not one of the hunt as other children. He was a boy of great intelligence, most likely more so than any other of his kind of any age. An adept at magics if ever there was one, at such a young age the boy was nearly a master of all common spells and a proficient chemist. Through any degree, a true genius.
Even with his accomplishments though, his title, as a recluse, stood. Parents frowned upon his lifestyle, but a hunter he was not.
We now go to that night. The night that fate intervened with the boy. The first mistake in evil's design.
-----
The boy's eyes fluttered open to not only the darkness of the cave, but to the twilight outside. Strange forces work on one's dreams, and they decided that it was not this boy's place to sleep through the night.
Darkness was nothing to the boy, eyes trained to every sort of light through evolution rather than experience. He sat up and yawned. He cared not for his early rising, the day would break soon enough. He tried, quietly as he could, to go past his mother, father, and sister with no disturbance.
The valley outside was a marvel to see anew, but to one who had lived within, it was the norm and was somewhat impractical at points.
Two gigantic parallel mounds formed the fox demon village. Natural caves lined the edge of both mounds and had various signs and crude decorations depending on its inhabitants. A wide river flowed fast and cold on one end of the valley, and at the other side, a wide open path. Behind one of the mounds sat a large, improvised bath house with a wall.
It was a great place to live, for demons anyway, it stood alone in the middle of the Great Plain, never to be disturbed by man's influence.
The boy walked absently, remindng himself of what he was to do that day. He had planned to peruse once more the human ruin's libraries that perched the peak of the nearest hill out of town.
Foolish, impatient youth as he was, the little fox boy's curiousity would not falter. He wished to see the human tomes again and would not wait 'til sunrise to get his wish.
Not a soul watched as he left the town and went to his place of escape from reality's claws.
The trip was not much at all for one of such magical aptitude, it was merely the matter of finding a focus.
He stood on the edge of the town as a tiny little boy with pointed, animal ears and a long furry tail, like any other child of the cursed fox. His tunic was barely large enough to keep him from tripping over himself and his hair was unnaturally long for a boy in the tribe. He had the common traits of the cursed as well, narrow pupils in his eyes, claws on his hands, and a mouth of powerful fangs. Such animalistic appearances are why they were labeled cursed. In all other respects they would appear human, but man could not see as such.
The boy walked his way to a place that he knew, a little hole he had dug behind the bath house and grabbed a rope from it's depths.
Slammed his hands together into an intricate shape and in a quick puff of smoke, an ordinary litle fox stood in his place. The fox sprinted off into the distance with the coiled rope in its teeth.
The little boy takes many forms, and though his weakest of magics, all demon can become their form of animal with ease.
He was at the ruins in only a number of minutes, and was already back in his demonic form, scanning the ancient human bindings for any book of power. He then found something that finally peaked his interest. A tome of intermediate magics in the language of man. It was worth more to him than his whole wealth of knowledge in spells.
He rigged up his rope around the book, a great volume to one so small, in a cross shape over his back, making the same over his chest to carry it.
He struggled to carry it to the door and stopped as he looked out toward the village.
The spellbook clattered to the floor as the boy changed into a fox once more and sprinted as quickly as he could down the hill.
A brilliant red glow came from the village beneath the hill.
-----
The boy stood shaking at the valley's edge, seeing flames burst forth from every cave.
He didn't stop to wonder how, he rushed to each cave with tears in his eyes. Each one was empty, or to the boy's horror, filled with the corpses of his kind.
He reluctantly gazed through his own home, hoping to just find his mother and father waiting for him with open arms. There was no such event.
The boy stood in front of the cave's great maw, legs locked in place by consuming fear.
He felt a sudden unbearable pain in his neck that quickly creeped down his body. He looked down see that a small dart had lodged itself into his neck.
A moment later, he was unconscious on the ground.
The boy's story is not nearly done, but the time has come for me to go. Over do I hand this story's reigns to the boy you have just heard. The story will be told, the story of the cowardly fox demon child, Acclue Lockheart.
It was originally meant as a fan game in the same world as Inuyasha, but we deviated so much from it, the only recognizable similarity is the existence of demons, and even that's been skewed so far that it can't even be considered copyright infringement anymore
I even changed the setting now so that it's not even set in Japan, just a typical fantasy setting.So recently I decided to rewrite the whole thing on my own, which may be quite a big task considering the whole game was maybe 2000+ posts, in my own words. We've tried restarting the game, but that's never worked, so I'm taking it into my own hands. I figured I might as well put it up here so I can hopefully get some feedback from you guys
oh, and the weird narrating only goes to the end of chapter I (no, he's not trying to rhyme)
I only did that because it's hard to justify the narrator physically describing himself XDPlease note that I write everything on an old PDA because I can't afford a laptop at the moment, so there may be some minor spelling errors...
I also usually don't put fully edited stuff on the internet because then no one would have incentive to go and buy it if it ever got published XD
so here is the rough draft for the prologue and first chapter of my story, Kitsuneakki: Origins.
--------------
There are many tales of greatness here in this world before time. Of men and heroes and gods alike. Yet strangely it occours so little, a tale from somewhere else.
Such stories are often overlooked, despite their gravity. A source of valor as such, humans can't conceive.
This epic begins in a chaotic place, near the edge of our known world. An isle by the name of Thryll is where darkness began.
A secluded folk, the Thryll knew little beyond the shores they saw. The epoch of man had just begun, but still refused to thrive.
An evil force, beyond any creature's span, corrupted all and refused to fall, the darkness of the land.
But man knew not the bravery that a new creature would hold. The life of such a range of species merely labelled cursed. These creatures as were really meant, the inheritters of Earth.
And though the heroes of this tale do span from here to man, the one who saved the world, was bound by no man or god or even the fates' hand.
Though now 'tis lost, his tale still stands. Proof: the existance of man.
Chapter I: The Little Fox's Tale
Our story begins not among man. A paradise to vixen kin and home to many cursed. The demons, as they called them, were the fox's species. A tribe of hunters, gatherers and such, in cave dwellings they stayed. A promising village in physical might, their latent magics they often forgot.
One boy however, the son of the leader, was not so apt. Though only eight years old, a mere infant in demon's lives, he was not one of the hunt as other children. He was a boy of great intelligence, most likely more so than any other of his kind of any age. An adept at magics if ever there was one, at such a young age the boy was nearly a master of all common spells and a proficient chemist. Through any degree, a true genius.
Even with his accomplishments though, his title, as a recluse, stood. Parents frowned upon his lifestyle, but a hunter he was not.
We now go to that night. The night that fate intervened with the boy. The first mistake in evil's design.
-----
The boy's eyes fluttered open to not only the darkness of the cave, but to the twilight outside. Strange forces work on one's dreams, and they decided that it was not this boy's place to sleep through the night.
Darkness was nothing to the boy, eyes trained to every sort of light through evolution rather than experience. He sat up and yawned. He cared not for his early rising, the day would break soon enough. He tried, quietly as he could, to go past his mother, father, and sister with no disturbance.
The valley outside was a marvel to see anew, but to one who had lived within, it was the norm and was somewhat impractical at points.
Two gigantic parallel mounds formed the fox demon village. Natural caves lined the edge of both mounds and had various signs and crude decorations depending on its inhabitants. A wide river flowed fast and cold on one end of the valley, and at the other side, a wide open path. Behind one of the mounds sat a large, improvised bath house with a wall.
It was a great place to live, for demons anyway, it stood alone in the middle of the Great Plain, never to be disturbed by man's influence.
The boy walked absently, remindng himself of what he was to do that day. He had planned to peruse once more the human ruin's libraries that perched the peak of the nearest hill out of town.
Foolish, impatient youth as he was, the little fox boy's curiousity would not falter. He wished to see the human tomes again and would not wait 'til sunrise to get his wish.
Not a soul watched as he left the town and went to his place of escape from reality's claws.
The trip was not much at all for one of such magical aptitude, it was merely the matter of finding a focus.
He stood on the edge of the town as a tiny little boy with pointed, animal ears and a long furry tail, like any other child of the cursed fox. His tunic was barely large enough to keep him from tripping over himself and his hair was unnaturally long for a boy in the tribe. He had the common traits of the cursed as well, narrow pupils in his eyes, claws on his hands, and a mouth of powerful fangs. Such animalistic appearances are why they were labeled cursed. In all other respects they would appear human, but man could not see as such.
The boy walked his way to a place that he knew, a little hole he had dug behind the bath house and grabbed a rope from it's depths.
Slammed his hands together into an intricate shape and in a quick puff of smoke, an ordinary litle fox stood in his place. The fox sprinted off into the distance with the coiled rope in its teeth.
The little boy takes many forms, and though his weakest of magics, all demon can become their form of animal with ease.
He was at the ruins in only a number of minutes, and was already back in his demonic form, scanning the ancient human bindings for any book of power. He then found something that finally peaked his interest. A tome of intermediate magics in the language of man. It was worth more to him than his whole wealth of knowledge in spells.
He rigged up his rope around the book, a great volume to one so small, in a cross shape over his back, making the same over his chest to carry it.
He struggled to carry it to the door and stopped as he looked out toward the village.
The spellbook clattered to the floor as the boy changed into a fox once more and sprinted as quickly as he could down the hill.
A brilliant red glow came from the village beneath the hill.
-----
The boy stood shaking at the valley's edge, seeing flames burst forth from every cave.
He didn't stop to wonder how, he rushed to each cave with tears in his eyes. Each one was empty, or to the boy's horror, filled with the corpses of his kind.
He reluctantly gazed through his own home, hoping to just find his mother and father waiting for him with open arms. There was no such event.
The boy stood in front of the cave's great maw, legs locked in place by consuming fear.
He felt a sudden unbearable pain in his neck that quickly creeped down his body. He looked down see that a small dart had lodged itself into his neck.
A moment later, he was unconscious on the ground.
The boy's story is not nearly done, but the time has come for me to go. Over do I hand this story's reigns to the boy you have just heard. The story will be told, the story of the cowardly fox demon child, Acclue Lockheart.
